Daily Attitude e-mail 11 21 11



Favorite pix of mine...
I snapped this out of my plane window
while flying to Denver some time ago.
Some of the best downtime...on a plane.


Each workday Jake Davis of Mavidea (IT company in Illinois) sends out a daily attitude e-mail to a distribution list that includes many in the IT business as well as other friends and business owners.  I am thankful to receive these daily reminders of positive attitude and devotion.  Jake had asked for volunteer writers to cover for him while he was out enjoying the holiday this week.  I volunteered to write today's e-mail and below is my contribution that I have choosen to repost on my blog.  So here are some thoughts as I enjoy some reflection time in Colorado...


Thanks to Jake for allowing me to participate in the daily attitude e-mail.  Jake had suggested following a theme of “what we are thankful for” with it being Thanksgiving week.  I think this is a great suggestion…which I will follow, but with a bit of editorial commentary on my part. 

I typically shy away from writing editorial type content or engaging in those types of discussions.  I save those thoughts for conversations over wine or runs (and only with selected friends).  But today I feel compelled to write on a topic that is on everyone's mind with the news circulating around us.  Social media, blogs and Internet outlets are buzzing on who looked the other way at Penn State, Herman Cain’s alleged indiscretions, and the many other daily news feeds on unethical and immoral behavior.  Even the PollyAnna's like me who avoid talk radio and controversial conversation are scratching their heads wondering how good people (by all appearances…I won’t be the judge on those I haven’t met) make such poor choices.

Rather than belaboring the fact patterns as already reported in the news outlets; I will simply ask the question of why we as humans have such a hard time in just doing the right thing.  What happened to the simple rules we learned as children...tell the truth, own your mistakes, and always do what is right?  But instead…what a tangled web we weave.  Yes, pride and ego will bring the greatest of men (and women) to their knees.

A man I completely respect for his passion for doing all that is right and his dedication to leading others in faith is Fr. Kizito Okhuoya, a priest at my church.  Kizito was raised in a poor community in Africa.  His childhood experience included worries on running water and a school with a roof with no knowledge of growing up the American way with reality TV, video games, and social privilege.  The innocence in his faith principles and avoidance of a commercialized existence present a raw purity to a man with no false pretenses on differentiating between acceptable and unacceptable behavior.  In a recent sermon, Fr. Kizito talked about this specific issue.  He boiled it down to the principle that as humans we all know the difference between right and wrong.  It is that simple.  Take out all the noise and excuses and we can all apply this simple question to every choice we make in life:  Is it the right thing to do?  Life would be so much more fulfilling for all of us if we challenged ourselves to follow this principle each day and with each action.

And, yes, we are human so we do make mistakes and at times, bad decisions.  The key then is how we handle them, correct them, and learn from them.  It really is all about doing the right thing.  And then it is our own individual free will that guides how we handle our failings.  Coach P made a bad choice and then when given time to reflect and correct, he choose not to.  An already big problem turned into a colossally huge problem with people’s lives irreparably hurt and humans damaged. 

I always tell my sons that all lying is bad.  Little lies escalate into big problems.  Compromising our decision making on what seem small at the time can turn into BIG problems that not only cause embarrassment, but impact the lives of many people (drunk driving leading to injury, overlooking a wrongful act which then causes harm to others…the list goes on and on).  The significance of the choice at the time does not have a direct correlation to the size of the problem it can create.  In the case of Joe P, I am sure there was a point when he knew that he made a bad choice.  It takes a big man (or woman) to realize this human failing after the fact.  And it takes enormous character for that man or woman to correct their failing with all they may have at stake.  Think through your own life circumstances where you saw this play out big or small...a boss who recognizes a mess up that can cost a company a customer, but takes the responsibility and owns it with the client.  How about a politician who realizes they made a bad choice in the past and now simply says, I made a mistake?  How refreshing would this be rather than in-fighting, covering up with excuses, play of words, and the very typically response of avoidance?  Yes, ego and pride are our greatest distracters in following the principle of applying right from wrong.  When you put yourself first; differentiation between right and wrong no longer seems to matter.

So how does all of this apply to the daily attitude thought for today?  I am of the belief that we are all people with significance in this world.  Kim Kardashisomething means nothing, but the people who subscribe to this e-mail mean everything.  We are the real players in the game of life.  It starts with us…in our homes, at our work, in our communities.  We need to do the right things and challenge each other when human failings happen (and they will happen).  So today I will say that I am very thankful for the many people in my life who always do their best to do the right thing, for the right reasons, and hold me accountable to do the same.

Sister Mary & Father Jim

As they say, a picture is worth a thousand words.  Yep, this favorite pix of Mom and Dad elicits that kind of a response in me.  As I thought through my costume choice for Halloween this year, I was reminded of the last time I dressed for the occasion two years ago.  That was Halloween 2009.  I dressed as a nun and my mom and dad as my counterparts.  I was the brainchild of the idea and my mom the creator of the finished product.  I believe Dad would be considered an accomplice by default (and a good sport in humoring his wife and daughter).  So as I thought about our Halloween fun in Vegas two years, I felt a bit inspired to share it in a blog (but don't know if I can promise under a thousand words).

If you have not met my mom and dad, I apologize for this deprivation.  My parents are awesome. I don't think there is a simpler way to explain them.  And for those who have read my prior "Big Bird" blog, you are aware of my mother's creative talent as a seamstress.  Growing up, our Halloween costumes were handmade gems.  The last "Mom-made" costume of recollection was a red calico "Little House on the Prairie" dress accessorized with a floppy bonnet.  And I do believe this dress had a dual life.  The original recipient was my Aunt Kathy with this costume created by Mom for a part in a school play (Oklahoma?).  I marveled at this wonder and with a few tailored adjustments, I wore it proudly around Remsen for Halloween.  EVERY girl wanted to be Laura Ingalls in 1979.  And I can tell you with 100% certainty that I was the only prairie girl strolling the streets of Remsen that night.

Matt, Mark and Sandy Wagner (pix taken at Grandma Gib's).
Clown outfits and matching bags ~ courtesy of Mary Wagner. I have to note...could Mark be any cuter and doesn't Matt's mask illicit thoughts of him holding a machete?

By 2009 the many Halloween costumes designed by my talented mom had become a very distant memory.  I turned into the official costume designer to my own boys (now second guessing whether I shunned Mom by excluding her).  So when I pitched the idea of dressing up as clergy, Mom not only pulled through with flying colors; she was very excited about the entire concept.  And with our long lineage of priests and nuns on the Pick side of our family, the idea seemed a natural fit.

What made our costume choice even more fun was the fact that we would be celebrating together in Las Vegas.  With my brother's family living in Vegas and my parents in Northern Arizona, our frequent family gathering destination is Viva.  And I LOVE Halloween.  I really don't know where this originated.  I think a big part is my love for everything fall...my birthday, football, fall colors, cool nights, caramel apples...<pause and smile by Sandy> . My family knows this about me and I have been treated over the years with many wonderful Halloween gifts that decorate my decked out house.  So spending Halloween on a family trip was just frosting on the cake.

This Vegas trip was a bit more fun as Dad decided to treat his grandkids (and wife and daughter) to a stay on the strip.  He wanted the teen/tween grandkids to enjoy the flavor of Vegas together (kind of like getting a hotel room for the kids to hang, but with neon lights and slot machines).  And we spent Friday night doing just that; taking in the Vegas experience.  We ate at buffets, took pictures with Elvis, toured the M&M factory, walked the strip, and avoided the MANY people trying to hand out inappropriate female trading cards.

Although an active participant in our Vegas adventures, Mom was chomping at the bit for us to try on her handmade duds.  We did a quick fitting in between dinner and walking and she was pleased with the result.  No Nobbie's quality in this garb.  The material was the thick itchy wool/cotton blend with hooks and snaps in various hidden spots to complete the official look of Catholicism glory.  Mom had actually shopped at a missionary to pick up some of Dad's specialized costume pieces.  The result was short of spectacular.  And Mom knew it.

After a hangover of too many M&M's and Mountain Dews, the grandkids slept in and I found myself the casino workout room (note that Saturday morning in Vegas is a great time to have the workout room to yourself).  Mom couldn't wait any longer for the reveal.  She certainly couldn't wait for me to finish my workout and shower.  As I ran the treadmill and watched the Husker game on the communal TV, Father Jim and Sister Mary made their grand entrance.  I about fell off the treadmill seeing them in full character with sullen looks and hands together in prayer.  "God bless you, child" was Mom's greeting.  So after praising them for their impeccable delivery and characterizations, Mom and Dad took their show on the road.

After cruising the strip and walking through every casino they had time to hit, mom swore they never cracked a smile.  Numerous people asked if they were real; at which mom gave them a blessing and a slight nod of the head.  There were people who took up conversation with them, sharing stories their own friends or relatives who were "just like them".  Mom and Dad never broke from character.  They received many stares and comments, but pulled off their holy revival with Oscar winning accuracy.  When they came back to the workout room after their outing, they were giddy and smiling from ear to ear.  They reminded me a bit of a modern day Bonnie and Clyde.  You would have thought they just robbed a bank and got away with it.  But in true form of my parents, not a negative word came out of their mouths casting judgment on the casino dwellers of Sin City. When I reminded mom last week of their little Vegas missionary adventure, her comment was "That was fun.  We had to capitalize on the opportunity!" 

And our fun had only just begun with the parental casino crawl.  Halloween night entailed the kids all in costume; trick or treating in my brother's neighborhood.  All three of the Holy Order were also costumed for the occasion.  We proudly walked along side of our kids saying "say your prayers or no candy" to those who offered comment.  And there was a little added twist to our trick or treating as I had my attention focused on my smart phone.  You see, this was beginning of my Garrett chapter.  We had just met two weeks before and were texting back and forth like a couple of kids with a school age crush.  My nun habit and texted picture (below) gave a witty Garrett much ammunition for some playful banter.  There was also a time when I briefly snuck into a bedroom so we could talk on the phone <gasp>.

While my kids were preoccupied with their own antics, they didn't give my preoccupation another thought.  But I pulled no wool over my parent's eyes.  Sister Mary and Father Jim watched me like a hawk wondering what I was up to.  I can picture my mom looking like the flying nun racing around trying to find me while I had snuck into the bedroom on the phone.  A knock on the door was followed with "Sandy, are you coming out soon?"  The reality was that my parents had not experienced me as a single woman since I was a school girl and neither had I.  None of us really knew what to do.  After quizzical looks and questions on what was so interesting with my phone, they finally put the episode in their back pocket for close future observation.

The good news is that I finally let the cat out of the bag over Thanksgiving that year when I asked if we could swing by Garrett's house in Denver to drop off Husker tickets while Mom, Dad and I were on a road trip drive from Albuquerque to Omaha (say that three times fast!).  When I finally got up enough nerve to make this peculiar request a day before our departure, my dad simply said, "Sandy, we trust you and will do whatever makes you happy.  And you are in charge of the map...we are just along for the ride".  So that is exactly what we did.  Greeted by Garrett's Great Dane at the door, the four of us had a lovely Thanksgiving dinner prepared by Garrett.  And you know the rest of the story.  Thinking back, I wonder what went through my parent's minds when their newly minted single daughter ("Safe Sandy") asked them to stop at a man's house in Denver for dinner and overnight.  And a mysterious man, mind you, that I had met just weeks before.  It felt so right to me at the time, but had to have been an incredible leap of faith by my parents.  Father Jim and Sister Mary had now connected this man to my Halloween night phone escapades.  And it took little time for them to surmise that he was a blessing in our lives.    

I was told once that I have wicked intuition. My response is that I don't hold a candle to my mom.  During my most significant life changes, she knew the answers before I even accepted that my life was changing.  And my dad has always been a pillar of honesty and loving support; virtues fitting of the role of my mom’s accomplice.  My parents do make quite the team. I will close by saying it is a true blessing when intuition and acute perception lead only to human acceptance and away from superiority and judgment.  And to that I say, "Amen, Sister."