B.L...my memory of a great friend



 I think it is such a true statement that the impact of a person is not set by the number of years they have on this earth, but by the number of people they have touched in their life.  For Bradley Layne Kracl (B.L.) this was a short lifetime. B.L. left this world at the age of 23 on July 29, 1989.  Although his life was way too short, he touched as many people as a man living to retirement.  B.L. had incredible presence, wit, and a high sense of loyalty to his family and those honored to be called his friend.

Just recently I was going through old photo albums and stumbled across a picture of B.L. "hamming it up" in a picture taken of us together.  It is apparent in this picture that I was oblivious to his humor.  It was such a B.L. moment that I had to share it on Facebook.  This prompted an outpouring of comments expressing fondness for our friend, many smiles on happy memories, and sighs for a friend who left us way too soon. As I am sure it did with many others, old memories came flooding back to me. It feels like yesterday that we were all hanging out in the Student Union or jumping on the wrestling van for out of town tournaments.  As I remember this great friend, I wanted to share my favorite story of B.L. and would so love to hear the stories of others.

My story begins at the beginning of the 1986-87 school year.  And it did not begin with B.L. and I as friends.  In fact it was quite the opposite.  B.L. and Scott came to Westmar as new students that fall.  They were high school buddies.  I was starting my sophomore year and very familiar with the "Schuyler crew".  Scott had taken a liking to me and started visiting me at my dorm.  But he didn't come alone.  He would bring B.L. with him.  They came as a team.  Kind of like "group courting".  When B.L. and I met, we instantly didn't like each other.  B.L. was very handsome and cocky.  He knew he was handsome and didn't care that he was cocky.  I thought he was full of himself and I am sure his opinion of me was that I was a snot and full of myself too.  He liked to party.  I liked to study.  And quite frankly, I didn't want him to be a part of the courting process and I am sure he felt the same way.  Needless to say, we did not start off with any mutual affection toward each other.

As Scott continued to visit me in Bonebrake dorm, B.L. continued to be reluctantly at his side.  B.L. never said much to me, but would sure stare me down in an effort to try to make me feel uncomfortable (we ALL know that look).  Of course, I wouldn't let him get the best of me and made it a habit to put my nose in the air to him when possible and would glare back when given the opportunity.  Our relationship moved from dislike to tolerating each other as it became apparent that Scott and I were an item.  I wasn't going anywhere and neither was B.L.  So by virtue of Scott, we were basically stuck with each other.

College life continued that first semester with B.L. and I at many of the same functions, but with interaction only when necessary.  Christmas break came and went.  Second semester brought a new work study position for me; Campus Accounting Tutor.  Second semester also brought a new class in the fold for B.L.; Accounting 101.  B.L. was a business major and found accounting to be very challenging.  He told me later that although he was struggling, he couldn't drum up the courage to show up at the Accounting Lab where I tutored.  One day we (yes, the three of us) were hanging at the Student Union.  Scott got up to pick up his food order.  B.L. blurts out to me, "Okay, I need help with accounting.  Can you help me?"  I was taken aback.  Mainly because he spoke to me and secondly because he was asking for help.  He seemed incredibly uncomfortable and it was obvious that he didn't want to discuss it in front of Scott.  "Sure," I answer.  We soon negotiate the terms and decide against the Accounting Lab office and instead opt for meeting late that night at my Aunt Barbara's house.

I was nannying my cousins for a week while my Aunt Barbara and Uncle Gary were out of town.  B.L. showed up after I put the kids to bed.  I remember staying up until 2 or 3 in the morning studying with B.L.  We started with the basics of accounting just trying to get him up to speed.  He came back the next night and then the next. He was an attentive and thankful student.  In return, I didn't talk down to him.  It ended up feeling like we were a team trying to get him through this class together.  He was failing the class at the time he came to me and after our initial "crash tutoring" and intermittent help throughout the rest of the semester, he ended up with a "B-".  I so remember how excited he was after he finished his final exam and gave me the news.  Later on that night I came back to my room after a night of my own studying at the library.  Outside my door was a carefully placed white teddy bear with a thank-you card.  The card had a hand written note from B.L. thanking me for all of my accounting help and for my friendship.  I was actually shocked, but completely grateful for the sweet gesture.  We really never talked about the gift.  I tried to thank him and he gave me a little grunt and looked away.  I knew then that it wasn't necessary to give a thank-you for a thank-you...just accept it.  That I did.

B.L and I were this very unlikely duo who somehow became friends.  I quickly learned that I had misjudged him and I am sure he felt the same about me.  This confident guy with burly good looks was really a teddy bear himself; sensitive, sweet and not wanting anyone to see that he was human with weaknesses like the rest of us.  I was now one of B.L.'s friends and part of a large group of people who felt the warmth of his personality and kind spirit.  This was the beginning of many, many great memories with B.L.  There were the weekend wrestling trips and Schuyler road trips (I so remember singing "Ring of Fire" with B.L. at Tiny Bubbles)...the "B.L. looks", smack talk and rough housing....good stuff :)  His death still doesn't feel real to me.  I think a big part of this is because of B.L.'s "larger than life" spirit while he was alive.  He was a guy always full of life and energy.  Those who knew him know exactly what I am saying.  You felt it in his presence.

The teddy bear and card went missing between house moves many years ago.  I remember reading the card and deciding to put it in a "safe place", so not to lose it.  After forgetting this act, I later couldn't remember the "safe place" where I placed it.  I haven't seen it since.  Although I think about B.L. often and feel his presence in my life still today, I believe that I will receive a Godwink one day when that card will mysteriously appear.  Someday...but until then I am just thankful that accounting wasn't B.L.'s thing.  I cherish the friendship that didn't seem meant to be.