My mom calls me the "master story teller". Honestly, I think she is sugaring me up so I write more stories for the family history book she is compiling. But she is right on one thing; I really do like to share my fond memories and real life experiences. I have a very special Godwink story that involves my Grandpa that I will share in a later blog (Mom can have that one for her book too!). The Godwink that I feel the urge to write about and memorialize tonight is my meeting Garrett. Some have heard the whole story. Others have heard the abbreviated version. And since the #1 question I am asked is "You're dating a guy from Denver...how did that happen???", I would love to share my story (full version :)). And no matter the story, the reality is that it truly was a Godwink.
So the story begins in Omaha on October 10, 2009. I had filed for divorce the previous December 2008. The divorce process was long and painful and I still couldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel. I woke up that Saturday morning to an early season ice storm. My parents had been staying with me several months that summer and had left for their home in Arizona a month prior. My house was eerily quiet. The typical chaos of three boys (16, 13, and 9) was absent as this was their weekend with their dad. My parents had helped fill that void by staying with me for close to six months total over the ten months since Scott left. But this weekend there were no parents, no Husker football, no boys...I was home alone.
There was a planned event to occupy the weekend. I had a flight booked for a quick trip to Denver. Through work I belong to a national group of health care consultants. We have bi-annual meetings that I have been a part of for over fifteen years. Although I hadn't been to many meetings over the prior couple of year (amazing when I look back at the two years leading up to divorce how I avoided interactions like these), I was committed to attend this fall meeting. But I had cold feet. Scott accompanied me to many of these meetings over the years. As a couple we had traveled, dined, and golfed with many of my AHA colleagues. No one knew I was divorced and quite frankly, I knew they would be shocked as this was unexpected. I dreaded the thought of people asking where Scott was, looking at my ring finger and wondering, and my explaining what was going on in my life to those bold enough to ask. I was relieved to be past most of the initial shock of the divorce and the questions and explanations that go with this territory. To be honest, I just wasn't in the mood for another round of questions and polite "I'm so sorry" comments. Normalcy was sounding much better.
The weather was a perfect out for me. We had an ice storm. I couldn't possibly drive to the airport, let alone fly to Denver. It looked like I would have to stay home after all. The flight was scheduled to depart late afternoon. I went about my routine...gym, pick up the house, check e-mail. The whole time I was convincing myself that this trip was not meant to be. But as the day went on, the weather got better. The ice was melting in Omaha. Denver...no bad weather there. Flight...on time, no delay. Hmmm...what to do. I sat on my bed and stared at my lap top thinking of every excuse in the world on why not to go. I came up with tons of great ideas on alternative things to do at home...basement that needed to be cleaned, movies that needed to be watched, wine that needed to be drank. I pulled up the Southwest website and found the reservation. I stared at the "cancel reservation" button on the computer. Something moved me not to push the button. Instead I silently prayed. I knew that I needed to go. So I put on my best dress and favorite boots, packed my bag, and got my butt to the airport with a smile on my face.
After an eventful and long cab drive to the group dinner outside of Denver and several inquiries about whereabouts of Scott, I got through the night seamlessly. I felt the Godwink in the encouragement to make the trip and I knew I was guided to the right decision. I needed to live and move on with my solo life surrounded by the people and relationships that have been meaningful to me over all these years. After dinner I enjoyed few drinks with old friends. There was lots to catch up on with work and family. Being divorced didn't feel like such a big deal. All was well in the world. As a side note, Garrett was supposed to be at this dinner, but choose not to attend at the last minute. In reality God did more than wink to get us together. In the end I think we each got a solid nudge.
Sunday was the AHA business meeting with speaker presentations. I was sitting next to Lori, a colleague I had known for years through AHA. There were two presenters; both business owners/consultants in the IT field. The first speaker was Garrett. I would be lying if I didn't admit to being instantly attracted to him. He was good looking and articulate. I loved what he had to say and felt his approach in business mirrored my own. I remember wishing he was in Omaha as there was no doubt in my mind that we "spoke the same language" and would work very well together. I knew my clients would be well served by Garrett.
As the presentation continued I noticed that Garrett didn't have a wedding ring. Funny how I never noticed wedding rings or lack there of until I was divorcing. I wrote a note to Lori while attentively listening to Garrett present. "Good looking", I jotted down. "Yes!", she wrote back. "No wedding ring?" I wrote. "Nope" she responded. "Hmmm..." I thought. Needless to say, I had a lot of questions for the speaker during the presentation and waited to introduce myself after everyone else was done. We walked out together with another AHA colleague, Tim. The meeting was in a conference room of the hotel. Tim went on his way while Garrett and I took the escalator down and talked a bit about our kids and their football games that fall day. I felt a blush of panic as I eyeballed the hotel bar at the bottom of the escalator. I suddenly felt very single. Here was this single woman talking to a potentially single man, by a bar...panic! Garrett will tell this story a bit differently. His memory is of me being engrossed in my Blackberry not paying him the time of day. Honestly, I think I really didn't know what to do, so I chatted with Garrett, but kept my focus on my phone. We said good bye and I thanked him for his presentation and that was it. What I remember most was thinking he had such kind eyes. Funny how a person's eyes are the doorway to their heart.
Not to belabor the remainder of my Sunday as this was kind of a downer, but I will summarize the night by saying that as kind and genuine as Garrett felt to me, I had an opposite experience Sunday night. A group of AHA colleagues went out for a group dinner and then gathered for a drink at the hotel bar (yes, the same one I had a panic attack at earlier). A married man, a friend that I had known for years, began the night by telling me how life will get better for me. His first marriage ended and it was difficult, but he met the woman of his dreams and second marriage was bliss. And then he promptly proceeded to hit on me. I had phone calls and texts from him to this affect until wee hours of the morning. A rude awaking to my new life as a single woman (YUCK!). Lesson learned...beware of married men at hotel bars as much as single men ;) Sure didn't seem to matter all those years I had a wedding ring on, but man, do the gloves come off once you are a female without the ring.
Monday morning...I am soooo ready to go home after my little experience the night before. How did I get hoodwinked like that? I really believed this guy and his seemingly genuine concern for my well being. I thought I was a good judge of character and after all of these years of friendship, this is what it comes to...really??? I pack up and grab a cab and head to the airport. As I sat in the cab, I reflected on the weekend. I suddenly thought about Garrett. There was a connection there. And for a reason that I have no explanation other than I felt the impulsive need to connect with him, I sent Garrett an e-mail from my infamous Blackberry. I dug out his presentation from my computer bag and found his e-mail address on the last page of his handout. Without a second of hesitation I shoot off an e-mail, "Hi, Garrett. This is Sandy Lane from AHA. We met after your presentation yesterday. Do you do business in Nebraska?" Within a minute I get a response "Yes, I do business in many states. Do you want to meet for a coffee and discuss opportunities? How did your son do in his football game?" My response "I am on my way to the airport back to Omaha. My son lost his football game." Garrett, "Send me an e-mail when you get back and we can set up a conference call this week." Voila...Omaha connects with Denver. Why did I suddenly feel the urge to send that e-mail and connect? I will tell you that I just felt compelled to send it. There wasn't much thought and it came to me out of the blue. A Godwink.
Much later Garrett tells me how he was a bit confused at the time on receiving the e-mail and the timing of me sending it while on the way to the airport. He never expected to hear from me again and didn't expect me to follow up on the conference call. Fast forward to Thursday of the same week. I am at home with a sick child. As I was cleaning out my computer bag, I stumble on Garrett's presentation opened up to his e-mail address. I look at it, remembering our conversation on setting up a conference call. Again, I feel a strong urge to connect with Garrett. I hadn't given it much thought since our e-mail exchange on Monday. But without hesitation, I shot him an e-mail explaining that I was home with sick kids and couldn't have a conference call that day, but was open most of the following Friday. Within minutes I receive from him an Outlook invite to a Friday afternoon conference call.
I have a crazy day that Friday (direct result from my impending divorce) and ended up at home for most of the day. I contemplated cancelling the call because frankly, I was spent. But I pulled it together and kept the scheduled call on the calendar. Garrett called and we talked for about 45 minutes and although I did grill him a bit (kind of like an interview), it was enjoyable (because he gave me the right answers ;)). Mostly business, but we got into kids, sports and past times. I liked him. I definitely wanted to collaborate with our health care clientele. We made a plan to share some of our marketing collateral and then reconvene on the next step on working together. All business, but I sure felt a connection.
Prior to our conference call, I had Googled Garrett. At the top of my search was his Facebook page. This was in the back of my mind throughout our conference call as I discovered I really enjoyed his company. I could definitely hang with this guy. Toward the end of our call, when we started talking kids and past times, I knew we had a personal connection too. Facebook...hmmmmm. I made the decision that I would ask him to be my Facebook friend, but would wait until Sunday night. I didn't want to come across as too forward. I had pulled up his Facebook page as we finished our phone call. I looked at the friend request button and reminded myself of my plan of waiting until Sunday. So of course...I proceed to click the button. I don't think I even waited a minute. I felt the urge to go for it. Why wait until Sunday? Sounded silly to me :) Within less than a minute Garrett accepts my invitation and the rest is history. We spent the weekend exchanging e-mails on marital status, kids, religion. The date of that conference call was October 16, 2009. Since that first personal connection, there hasn't been a day that has gone by that we haven't communicated via phone, e-mail or the most popular connection (but least possible)...being together. I have learned over this time that the best relationships do start with a friendship, but chemistry sure doesn't hurt either :)
By Sunday night we were on the phone for hours sharing our life stories, our heart break, our struggles, and our faith. It really was like we knew each other forever. The similarities in our life situations and our life stories were uncanny. And we are so cut from the same cloth. Garrett and I became friends helping each other through our pains of divorce, single parenthood, failure and forging ahead in our new lives that neither one of us expected or wanted and all with 550 miles between us. A Godwink. Somehow in God's mercy he saw our pain and blessed us with the gift of each other. Of course my brain is wired to rationalize everything. To find an explanation for why God feels that I am deserving of this happiness. All I can say is that as difficult as it can feel at times to take the high road and try to do the right thing, it does pay off in the end. God winked at us for reasons we will never fully understand, but for which we are both grateful. Every day is a blessing. "When God winks, He is reaffirming that there is absolutely nothing about us that He does not know - our hurt, our every desire. And that to me is very comforting." ~ Squire Rushnell
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