Grandpa Doc

My Grandpa Doc died in July of 2000.  Although it should have been of no surprise (he had been battling cancer for months); we always thought our ailing grandma would go first.  But this was not the case.  A man that always seemed so vibrant and proudly served the role of Grandma's primary caregiver was quickly gone.  Elmer Pick was the town vet for years.  Most people in town called him Doc Pick.  My brothers and I called him Grandpa Doc.  In turn we had given our grandma, Marvel Pick, the name Grandma Doc.  As was typical in life, Grandma was in Grandpa's shadow here too.

Before I tell the story of the Godwink my mom and I share, let me tell you about my grandpa.  Grandpa was the town vet in Remsen, Iowa.  He retired when I was very young and I have no recollection of him practicing veterinary medicine.  I have heard many stories over the years of him traveling to farms across the Iowa countryside and caring for cattle, pigs, and farm animals.  My grandma kept the books, ran the phones, and raised nine kids.  I still run into people who light up when they realize that I am Doc Pick's granddaughter.  Many times they have a heart warming story to share on how my grandpa helped them out many, many years ago.

Although it has been ten years since my Grandpa died, his strong influence is still evident in my daily life.  All those summers on the farm and later visits to their house in town were filled with a grandpa who continuously encouraged me and dotted on my every achievement.  There are many examples of this.  I loved to read as a child.  I would often take a book and sit by a tree far from the noisy farm house.  One day Grandpa surprised me by taking an old cat house (green wooden triangle shelter) and made it into a tree house just for me.  He hoisted the green mini-shed unto my favorite tree.  He then put up a ladder and encouraged me to keep reading in my new thoughtful spot.  I also loved to write and wrote "a book" with a pencil on lined paper.  Complete with a stapled binding, I gave it to Grandpa who served as my editor.  "A best seller! You are one talented girl",  he told me.  He always encouraged me and built me up higher than I am sure I deserved.  I was a very ordinary eleven year old girl with buck teeth and no extraordinary physical characteristics or skills.  But to Grandpa Doc "I was going to be something".  I especially remember how he would talk about me to other people (while I was present).  A common comment was "This is my granddaughter, Sandy.  She is a smart one and she is going placing.  You remember her!"  And I believed him.  My Grandpa, along with my dad and uncles, were very strong male influences in my life.  There is definitely something to be said for these positive influences building the confidence of a young girl.  I am very thankful for the early encouragement.

My Godwink happened the night my grandpa died.  It was a hot summer night in July, a Friday.  Mom was back in Remsen, doing her best to help care for both Grandpa and Grandma.  I was home in Omaha with my young boys.  Scott was working the night shift; patroling the roads that night.  Grant was only a few months old and Zach and Ben, 7 and 4.  Not knowing Grandpa was on his death bed (in my mind, he had a couple of months left on earth), I had no thoughts or conversations on what the status of Grandpa’s health was on that particular day.  Grant was asleep in his crib.  The older two boys were in their beds, sound asleep as well.  All was quiet and I thought all were peacefully asleep.  We were living in our old house where the older two boys shared a room.  The position of their bunk bed was such that I could see them from my bed.  I was sitting up in my bed reading a book and enjoying the solitude.  Out of no where I hear “Mom, we need to say a Hail Mary.”  The voice startles me and I see Zach sitting up in his bed in the dark of night.  Although I thought it was very odd, Zach did attend Catholic school and seven year olds can be very random at times.  “Okay”’ I answer and together we said a Hail Mary.  It warmed my heart as Zach seemed to be saying it with vigor.  After we were done, Zach didn’t say a word.  He simply laid back down and went to bed for the night.  I continued to read my book.  About ten minutes later my phone rang.  It was my mom calling to tell me that my grandpa had passed away.

 As we fast forward to the next part of the story, I need to give you some more background on my grandpa.  Grandpa lost his father at a very young age.  His family survived the Great Depression, but the family farm did not.  Grandpa adored his mother, Mary.  He felt a great deal of admiration for his mother, her faith, and her perseverance through hardship.  With the unexpected death of his father, Grandpa filled some big shoes as the man of the house and grew an immense loyalty to his mother.  My mom, Mary; Grandpa's first born, was named after his mother.  Grandpa came from a devout Catholic family.  He had four sisters who were nuns and two brothers and a nephew who joined the priesthood.  Grandpa prayed the rosary continually and leaned on his faith to get him through his pain and last months on earth.  His favorite prayer was the Hail Mary.  He felt that his mother epitomized The Virgin Mary on earth and felt a great reverence for this prayer.

Grandpa was laid to rest by his wife, nine children and their spouses, grandchildren, great grandchildren and many, many other friends and family members.  As anyone who has had buried a close family member knows, the experience is overwhelming and at times exhausting.  My mom certainly felt like this on our drive from Remsen back to Omaha.  After the services, funeral luncheon, mourner visits, thank-you writing, and cleaning out the many meds and personal belongings of my grandpa; my mom was spent.  Everything was such a whirlwind during this time frame, that mom and I had not had a chance to talk details and for me to find out what actually happened the night Grandpa died.

We were in the back seat of the car and Mom was so tired, she could barely keep her eyes open.  But she was anxious to give me the play-by-play of the fateful night.  The loss of her dad was still surreal to her and she had a need to relive the night with her daughter.  The following account was through my mom's eyes in the 24 hours preceding my grandpa's death.  My apologies to anyone who was there if I have missed details; no doubt that my mom could tell it much better.

The day had started as it had for weeks; with my grandpa in the hospital.  My mom was taking her turn by his side while taking in the daily myriad of information from the various rounding physicians.  A few of her siblings were in and out that day too.  Grandpa had been receiving radiation treatment and it was taking a toll on his frail, elderly body.  Grandpa was actually feeling a bit better that day and asked for a mirror so he could shave.  With some deliberation,  mom found him one.  My grandpa looked at his image in the mirror and in my mom's words "looked like he had seen a ghost".  In a panic, he turned to my mom and said "I need to go home now."  He saw what everyone else had seen for months...a man deteriorating and dying.  It scared him and he knew his time on the earth was almost done.  He wanted to go home...immediately.  He was adamant that he was going home.  No words were specifically spoken, but Grandpa did not want to die in the hospital.  Mom knew what had to be done and summonsed the nurses.  After much communication with hospital staff, doctors, and hospice; a ambulance was brought to the hospital to give Grandpa his wish of dying at home.

So Grandpa was transported for the 40 mile trek from Sioux City to Remsen.  Mom told me that she so worried that he wouldn't survive the trip.  He wanted so badly to be at peace at home and she wanted that so badly for him.  But his will held out and he made it home.  Several of his kids and grand kids were waiting for him and sat by his bedside to comfort him.  It was getting late into the night and they were managing his pain med the best they could to allow him to be alert, yet comfortable.  There was a fine line in maintaining this balance.  They wanted so badly for him to have no pain, but also wanted him to know they were physically there with him.  As the night wore on, Grandpa's kids took turns sitting at his bedside while the others slept.  My mom was taking her turn.  She was holding his hand and comforting him in what she knew in her heart were his final hours.  Knowing his love for his mother and wanting to share his faith journey to the next destination outside of his worldly life, mom started whispering in his ear "Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee..."  Grandpa squeezed her hand.  Mom knew he was reciting it with her.  She then whispered in his ear, "It's okay, Dad.  You can go now.  Your mom is waiting for you.  Mary is waiting for you at the end of the light."  Grandpa squeezed her hand again, breathed a labored breath, and then passed away.  Mom immediately awoke her siblings and they all joined hands around Grandpa and prayed.  Mom then called Dad to tell him the news.  Her next call was to me and my brothers.



Grandpa Doc with my sweet baby Grant (April - 2000)



Mom was exasperated after telling me this detailed account in the way my mom always tells stories.  But as she shared this last detail, I was floored.  I couldn't believe what I heard.  The Hail Mary by Zach was suddenly not a strange incident, but with express purpose.  I immediately shared with Mom the timing of Zach sitting up in his bed from a dead sleep and asking to recite the Hail Mary with me.  We revisited time lines and quickly concurred that the Zach instance would have happened at exactly the same time she was whispering the Hail Mary in Grandpa's ear.  There was no doubt in our minds that this was a Godwink.  God wanted us to know with no hesitation that there was a Heaven, that my grandpa was there, and that he was blessed with being reunited with his mother.  God was also telling us through Zach that Grandpa Doc's legacy was living among all of us.  The testament of a good man is left in the character of the children he raised and the legacy that continues on with their children.

Receiving this Godwink has given me great peace in knowing through God's love and mercy, I will see my Grandpa Doc again.  And as I wrote this blog,  I was reminded that I can best live the legacy of my grandpa by offering the same encouragement he gave me to my kids. Building a child's confidence is powerful and will pay dividends in the long-term...a great lesson from a wonderful grandpa.