Lessons in NYC: Day 5 Homeward Bound

(This entry is part V and the last in a series of my NYC blogs. Initial blog post is http://bit.ly/ODK6SE)

Me + the Utesch clan (partial representation)

Life is such a funny trip, isn’t it? How is it that it takes a trip 1,255 miles from home for friends who live a mere 155 miles apart to reunite?  A similar circumstance happened each year that my family vacationed at Lake Okoboji. A couple that lived in my Omaha neighborhood vacationed the same week as us. Each year we talked about getting together when back in Omaha. It never happened and instead we would grill out and golf together each year 200 miles from our homes that were separated by four city blocks.

Missy and Steve Utesch live in Marcus, Iowa; which is a relatively quick drive straight north of Omaha. But although intentions are good, we let years lapse in between our visits. This is where I can tell you that FaceBook is awesome. It was an easy connection that we didn’t have in the years following our college graduation up until the recent rise of social media in mid-lifers like us. And it was through FB postings that Missy saw that I would be in NYC for this class. After a quick interchange that her family would be visiting son, Nick, at the same time; a “date” was had.

I have always wanted to write a book that would be a compilation of essays on ordinary people who have achieved extraordinary feats. Keep in mind that extraordinary feats don’t necessitate winning the Noble Peace Prize or making a kazillion dollars running a Fortune 500 company. Extraordinary feats come in many shapes and sizes.  Topping my list include overcoming life adversity, making the most of a 2^nd chance, going to bed each night knowing one fought off their addiction. As humans we face mountains of adversity and challenges each day. Those who handle these challenges brilliantly and with heart, compassion, and resilience are those whom I idolize and want to emulate. Where others have bucket lists that include jumping off planes and climbing mountains in foreign lands, being a ghost writer of sorts by writing the stories of these extraordinary people tops my list.

Missy and Steve Utesch and their son, Nick, fall into this category. One day I hope to write their entire story, but today I will give you the abridged version. My friendship began with Missy and Steve enrolling at Westmar College. With three young children and a faltering farm economy, they walked away from their farm and started college in the late 80’s. With an age gap of ten years over the typical college student, the term “non-traditional students” was a complete understatement of their situation.

Not only did Missy and Steve go back to college when times were tough for them, but they completely embraced our school and the young population of students. Steve joined the college wrestling program, became an All-American wrestler, and stood on many podiums. Missy sat by my side as a wrestling cheerleader as we traveled the Midwest following and cheering on our favorite wrestlers. Their tiny daughter, Sarah, was our junior cheerleader. Older sons, Nick and Bryan, tagged along to all meets as well. Wrestling and college was a Utesch family affair. And Westmar College embraced the Utesch family as much as they embraced us. Missy was crowned homecoming queen at age 30 which made the Sunday Des Moines Register. A 30 year old college homecoming queen?  Of course!  We students at Westmar never batted an eye.

As education majors with the goal of teaching elementary school, their life plan was a normal extension of their caring and nurturing personalities. Being a business major, I knew from my first meal with the Utesch family that their oldest son, Nick, was wired differently. Missy would share with me that 10 year old Nick asked to balance their checkbook and later inquired about their family home mortgage. Missy and Steve were at a loss on how to even answer his pointed financial questions (in the minds of educators, this language was Greek to them). Knowing this little boy who enjoyed keeping up on the news and asked many questions on my profession of choice, none of this actually surprised me. I would best describe young Nick as a mirror of Michael J Fox’s Alex Keaton from the old family sitcom, Family Ties. So here was this pint-sized business phenom living in small town Iowa being raised by a family of farmers and school teachers.  Just as his parents performed the extraordinary feat of gaining their college education and making a positive impact while raising their young family (the ultimate story of rising above adversity), Nick made his own way in the world. He found a way to capitalize on his strengths and desires through intense determination and hard work.

In his early teens, Nick learned everything about the mortgage industry through an Infomercial and subsequent video purchase. Not only did the 14 year old learn this business inside and out, he also started “making connections” with those in the real estate industry and ran his business in small town Iowa through licensed adults in big city Nebraska. By the time he had his driver’s license and was able to make the drive to Omaha, he would stay with us as he met with the top real estate professionals in town. Dressed in a suit and with briefcase in hand, Nick set appointments and these professionals, in turn, embraced him. While still a minor, Nick was asked to speak at the national real estate conference. The featured speaker, President Bill Clinton, was not only a surprise of a lifetime, but he also shared the head table with them. Nick had brought mom, Missy, on that trip. I will never forget the phone call I received from them after Nick’s speech and surprise meeting with the President. I was up late caring for a sick Baby Zach. I couldn't make out what they were telling me on the phone as they were both giggling in delight. If I didn’t know better, I would have thought they were both drunk. The reality was that they were intoxicated in the moment.  It couldn’t have happened to a better person and it was frosting on the cake that Missy was with Nick to experience this wonderful moment.

After trying college for a week on a full ride scholarship, Nick simply said it just wasn’t for him. He set up his own business in Oklahoma City; now being old enough to have his own license.  There was no doubt that Nick had more national connections in the industry then most successful professionals twenty years his senior. His ultimate dream was to live in New York and have an office there. Nick is now in his early thirties and has had his office on the Jersey side for over ten years. He loves dividing his time between offices in OKC and NYC. A friend recently made the comment to me “remember that everyone from New York is really from somewhere else”. Nick is the ultimate example of this. To the naked eye, one would think Nick to be a “lifer” in the city, but you now know the rest of the story J

So last night I met my friends at Junior’s restaurant after they finished a bus tour of the city. We sat at the table and chatted like no time had elapsed from our time together. It felt no different than it would have 25 years ago at the kitchen table in their trailer in Iowa. Missy and Steve are still enjoying elementary school teaching and will graduate their youngest (born post-college when Nick was 16) next year. Nick is happy. Listening to him talk with enthusiasm and watch his facial expressions in describing the success of his business reminded me of the importance of loving what you do and chasing your dream.  Well played, Nick.

Nick, Steve and Tanner

You will be happy to know that Missy and I have another “date” on the calendar and this time it is within the next month. The place will be Omaha as this is now Sarah’s home, so no need to fly to New York. I can’t wait. And, Barbara Walters, you have clearly missed your mark in choosing to interview Tom Cruise and J-Lo as two of your chosen ten most fascinating people. Barbara obviously has never met Missy, Steve or Nick.

After my delightful dinner at Junior’s, I blended in with the post-play crowd walking through the rainy Times Square. Plays are certainly a part of NYC that I would want to add to my routine as well. But they didn’t make my short list on this trip. As I made my wayback to the hotel, I noticed another trainee from my day class passing me in the street. Roger is 60+ and from California. By all appearances, Roger seems to be the typical “CPA type”. But tonight he had an addition to his wardrobe that was not a part of his daily training attire. On his head was a knit cap similar to one worn to cover dread locks. Roger pulled on the cap nervously when he saw me. I smiled back hoping he could read my face as saying “You are in New York, Roger. Go for it!!”

It's now Friday morning and I am in my final day of classes in the city. The instructor doesn't appear to be avoiding me, so I must have not offended him last night at happy hour <whew>.  Just for that, I will give him a glowing class review. My bags are safely stored at The Muse waiting for my 3:30 Town Car pick up for the airport. It has been a good run, NYC. Thanks for allowing me to feel twenty-something again and embracing me for these five days.  I would tell you that I am excited to go home, but failed to share that my boys and I take an 8:25 a.m. flight out of Omaha to San Jose tomorrow morning. True story J

California….here we come!!!!