As I worked my way through my 30's and the daily whirlwind of backpacks, field trips, day care, and work, I continued with our 5:30 a.m. morning runs. Our routine and route rarely varied (started and ended at Kristi's house), but the company would change up on occasion. I recruited my brother-in-law, Russ, to join us. He was at a fitness peak after dropping some pounds and in turn, picked up running. Unlike the chatty women he joined on these morning runs, Russ was concerned about things we had never noticed before...exact length of the route and our official clocked time. To give you a little more insight on my brother-in-law; he was former military, a competitive athlete in high school and college, and a successful coach. To him, there was no reason to run if you were not gaging your improvement and running with a goal in mind. Indeed he brought a whole new element into our morning routine. Before we knew it, we were checking our times daily and Russ was pushing us to go harder each step of the way. We were many times too winded to talk (gasp!). Russ had turned into our coach and trainer and we became his faithful team. In no time our group had signed up for our first half marathon and set time goals with a strict training plan. We ran the Omaha half-marathon in the fall. Not only did we finish in the hilly fog (with threats of escaped zoo animals...true story), but we ran well; beating our finish time goal. Our coach pulled us through.
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| Russ and Angy after our maiden 1/2 |
Russ dropped out of our group for reasons I can't exactly remember (work conflict, injury, lack of sleep...?), but the by-product of his intense training (I believe his work outs are now coined as for-profit fitness "boot camps") was Angy catching the racing and training bug. She was in peak physical condition and looking for more of a challenge post-Russ than going back to our typical morning cackle sessions. Being the social connector of our group, Angy found a group of organized runners that had morning runs from our gym. This was a pivotal time that changed the core of our group and our runs. Angy successfully led a merger of sorts; our little morning run group (basically Angy, Kristi and I) were now part of this more serious and expansive running group. These new morning runs challenged Angy and she enjoyed the push. Kristi and I were just happy to be invited to join and decided to give the merger a chance. Admittedly there was some hesitation as we enjoyed our morning running therapy and the trade off of the competitive push was something we weren't convinced balanced out. But we knew that we could always go back to our old route and routine. So we gave it a shot.
Butch was the leader of this group who called themselves (or Butch called them) the "Early Morning Milers". Butch led and organized the training runs. There were different routes and mileage depending on the day and an e-mail went out weekly providing all of these details. Butch was our leader and he didn't take this position lightly. You could count on Butch's weekly e-mail like clock work. If there was a change in the schedule or a special request, you ran it by Butch first or you would have Hell to pay. Butch was the running patriarch, which was admirable because I am sure this was similar to herding cats. Our group came with a wide range of ages, motivations for running, and eclectic personalities (a nice way of saying people who run at 5:30 each morning couldn't possibly be normal). The varying runs and runners brought a new element of interest to our routine and the change up was welcome. Kristi and I decided to stick with this group. Everyone had their story...running story, life story...and we loved to hear them all as we ran our miles and enjoyed the company. The runs quickly became all about logging in miles and tracking running paces, which we monitored closely. This was when running a marathon entered our radar screen and seemed like something we could actually accomplish. We were logging in the training miles, so we should be up to running the distance, right?
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| Butch, our fearless leader, with his grand kids |
Kristi and I toyed with the idea of a marathon, but always fell back on the fact that we weren't "marathoners". That was we them; not us. Honestly it was probably a combination of both being chicken and a bit lazy. Then one fateful night, I was caught in a vulnerable state (drinking wine?) when my young cousin, Angelina, called begging "Will you and Kristi please, please, please train and run the Chicago Marathon with me? That would be sooooo cool! Please, please!!" So of course I said "We're in!" Hmmmm...maybe I should have run it by Kristi first. Sweet Angelina had nannied for me while in high school a couple of summers past and had joined our morning runs when ever in town. She was now a college student in Chicago and thought it would be such a great idea for us to train apart, but then run our first marathon together. Kristi couldn't run Chicago, but committed to run the Omaha Marathon and we would train together. So training began and we became part of the morning running group with a clear goal and a marathon on the calendar. This is the point where we truly passed the runner's initiation and were secretly accepted as part of the group.
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| The "Early Morning Milers" with some early morning coffee following a run |
So we ran, and we ran, and then we would run the same thing again. We listened attentively to the other runner's training plans and past marathon experiences. We logged in miles until we could barely move and then we would plan the next run. Honestly, it was a bit like Groundhog Day. Kristi and I would beg people to join us on different legs of our training runs to entertain us and tell us stories. My brother, Matt, would keep us company while riding his bike and other runners would come and pick up 5 or so miles with us during our long 20+ mile runs. Indeed we knew how Forest Gump felt (with no Jenny). Then our first big event day arrived. Kristi tackled the hilly and very "Omaha-ish" Omaha Marathon. She did it and her running comrades cheered her on to the finish line.
Next it was my turn. I flew to the windy city for my big event, but with no Angelina to accompany me. She had an ankle injury and wouldn't be able to participate. Several of my running group had entered this marathon as well, but all were seasoned marathoners with paces much quicker than my 4 hour goal. So with Kristi's recent finish as my motivation, I took on the marathon solo. But as with anything else in life, a person can always find a friend if they take the time and make eye contact and strike up conversation with the right person. My new found running friend was a lady by the name of Dana. She too was 40ish, running her first marathon, and with a goal of beating 4 hours. Dana ran in a running skirt and was cute as a button. She had a little more motivation than me as her entire hometown in Illinois was monitoring her performance. She was the wife of a local pastor and was a personal trainer at a gym when not raising her kids. A local radio station did a story on her; broadcasting her quest to run her first marathon in less that 4 hours (how about that for peer pressure and motivation???). Although we stuck together through mile 15, it was at this mile marker that I experienced side cramps, but somehow rallied through. Dana kept with the 4 hour pace runners and we parted ways. I did see in the final results that she clocked in a final time of 3:58 (no public humiliation for Dana!).
Angelina joined me for the last five miles. She really wanted to be there to support me since this was all her idea. I am not going to lie...by mile 19, I did not think this was such a great idea and I was a bit crabby when I saw Angelina's smiling, sweet (non-running) face. She was very chatty and encouraging. I think I wanted to ring her neck for reasons that make no sense now, but certainly prove the argument that there is such a thing as temporary insanity. I do remember asking her to talk about anything, but not to ask me any questions or expect an answer. Nice. So I rally and finish in just over 4 hours. I now get the whole "hitting a wall" thing. The last 5 miles felt like the first twenty in total. But Gina and I crossed the finish line hand in hand. Gina was beautiful as ever, vibrant, and smiling her innocent smile. I am cross, sweaty and looking like a hospice patient. As we are greeted by the barrage of volunteers lining the finish, Gina is told over and over, "Oh my gosh, you look so good. You don't even look like you finished a marathon." Angelina's response with her electric smile was simply,"Thanks!" If I wasn't truly dying a slow death and if I had even an ounce of energy left in me, I would have wrapped my hands around her neck and...sorry. Yes, I certainly would have thanked her for the encouragement and for talking me into running a marathon. Amen.
After the euphoria of being able to say "We ran a marathon!" and receiving the many accolades and pats of the back, Kristi and I needed to decide on the "next step". As we reviewed our adventure long and hard, we came to the conclusion that we were the first marathoners in history who actually gained weight during our training (we think we overcompensated on the eating once we thought we burned a gazillion calories). We also concluded that we really didn't like spending all of our free time running. Surprisingly we actually had other hobbies and interests outside of running. The most simplistic way of describing our running motivation is to say that we like to be able to button our jeans. Since we didn't accomplish that with the marathon, we moved on to Plan B. No more marathons for Kristi and Sandy. The joy is that we can say we ran one and to the non-runners in the world this is just as impressive as those who run them all the time. We earned the running badge of honor and are now retired from the sport of marathoning.
As was the case with our original running group, people came and went from this group for a variety of reasons as well. We added Tam simply by running into her (literally) as she ran out of her driveway on a run. Soon she was part of the e-mail list. Cindy was added after a chance conversation at the eye doctor and then realizing I ran with her daughter. Another add to the e-mail list. We enjoyed our running friendships, past and present. After fighting a valiant battle with cancer, Butch left us in death. The weekly e-mails and the "Early Morning Milers" are now a distant memory and our group has since disbanded into smaller groups. We miss our fearless leader and we talk of Butch often. He would not be happy with our dropping the ball on our group runs and not keeping the e-mails going. On occasion we do all get together to honor his memory and reminisce of many Butch runs...healthy and sick...and then we have a cup of cheap coffee (the best!) to toast our friend.
Post marathon and post 40 brought in post marriage for me. This was an unexpected event that was a slow brew for about a year. During that year, I did not speak a word of my woes at home on our morning runs. In retrospect it was probably wishful thinking that the tide would turn. There is always finality once words are spoken; something I just wasn't ready to accept. Our post-Butch running group had dwindled down to the "Fab Four" (our coined named by the other runners) which included Kristi, Tam, Cindy and me. I revealed my life changing situation to my comrades the day I filed for divorce. They have been by my side every step of the way since. Looking back on that year pre-divorce, my friends later told me I had strangely fell silent on our runs. They sensed something was wrong, but running and the comfort of our stories of our daily lives got me through. Running therapy has come in many shapes and sizes as we have all shared our heartaches and life changing events as a part of our daily morning runs. Our golden rule on our runs is "what is said on the run, stays on the run."
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| Chicago Half ~ 9/13/09 |
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| "Team Awesome" after the Phoenix Half (01/10) ~ Angelina, Stefano and Sandy |
My morning running routine is back at Kristi's house where it all began. The circle of running seems to follow the circle of life. Kristi, Tam, Cindy and I run our morning 5 miles with no watches, training runs, or goals in sight. Yes, we do run to button our jeans. And we see this as an admirable goal for 40+ pre-menopausal women. The run is simply a formality. At the end of the day, we are accountability partners to each other on the run and in life. As for me, from the outside it could easily be assumed that I lead a complicated existence. I date a guy from Denver (and running parter, mind you), travel often, have a fulfilling career, and co-parent three busy boys who in turn are juggling two homes. But my life couldn't be more simple and filled with happiness. As with my life, my runs are also back to simple and simple feels very good to me.
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| "The Fab Four" ~ Kristi, Cindy, Sandy and Tam ~ 3/15/11 |
I love it! wow, I feel like I just read a journal of my last 20 years! Your memory of events and the humor you add is impeccable. This is a treasure...we are truly a thread in each others lives! I'm so blessed to have you as my running and living buddy!
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